英语的小短笑话
关于英语的小短笑话 人类历史上，人自从有了语言，就已经出现了开玩笑的语言，我收集了关于英语的小短笑话，欢迎阅读。 关于英语的小短笑话【一】 One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?" 关于英语的.小短笑话【二】 a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'" 关于英语的小短笑话【三】 A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?" An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too." 关于英语的小短笑话【四】 The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you? 关于英语的小短笑话【五】 A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined. "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!" ;
英语幽默短笑话10篇
在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我整理的10个英语幽默短笑话，希望大家喜欢! 英语幽默短笑话1. Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV. Mum:There is no electricity tonight. Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on. 迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。 妈妈：今晚停电了。 迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。 英语幽默短笑话2. The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。 "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。 英语幽默短笑话3. Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” 英语幽默短笑话4. I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” 英语幽默短笑话5. It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?" 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?” 英语幽默短笑话6. -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的? -- 墓地守墓人。 英语幽默短笑话7. Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” 英语幽默短笑话8. Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了! 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登 广告 啊! 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 英语幽默短笑话9. —Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。 英语幽默短笑话10. A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid." 这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话， 千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。” 英语幽默短笑话10篇相关 文章 ： 1. 英语搞笑笑话10篇 2. 爆笑英语冷笑话10篇 3. 最搞笑的英语小笑话十则 4. 10个英语幽默短笑话 5. 英语幽默笑话短
